Evil Purple Monkeys #2

It has been another one of those crazy days. It has been two months since I was attacked by the evil purple monkeys. It has taken me awhile to be able to go outside and not be afraid of being attacked by the monkeys. Once I've thought about it, I realized that now I am aware of the purple monkey gang, I can handle them a lot better and attack them before they attack me.
I have been wanting to check out this one trail that runs next to a river and since it was a gorgeous day out, I decided to go. I was so enjoying my nice walk listening to my favorite music (we are smug, Darren, NKOTB, Janet etc) when I thought I saw something purple poking out from behind the trees and bushes.
Oh shit, did I just see a purple monkey or am I just seeing things? I so hope I am seeing things because I really don't want to be attacked again. This time I am prepared.

After a few more steps, an evil purple monkey popped out. I was ready for him this time. He was pissed about what happened last time, blamed me and was ready to take revenge. I just stood there and looked at him like he was stupid. I then picked up the little shit head.
He then started to yell: "hey, what the hell are you doing? You can't do this to me! Put me down!"

I looked at him and said: "Look you little shit, last time you threw rocks at me and bit me. This time you just pissed me off by interrupting my walk. I am not scared of you any more and I'm ready to fight back. Can you swim?"
"What?" said the purple monkey.
Then I said, "This is for the last time and trying to come at me again" and tossed him in the river. The little bastard drowned. Mean I know but I was defending myself. Wouldn't you do the same? I do feel kind of bad that I had to do that though. I have to say that seeing him fly through the air doing a monkey scream was kinda funny. Sick I know.
I think now I regret doing that. A few min. later, a bunch of the little purple bastards came out of nowhere. Crap. First I had one purple monkey pissed at me, now I have a bunch of them pissed at me.

"Who the hell do you think you are throwing our buddy into the river?" said one purple monkey.

"Well let's see, I started, "he came at me and was threatening me so I did what I had to do to protect myself. Sorry."

"It's pay back time. We are better than ever and this time we will win." said another.

"Well considering you all sucked last time, I'm sure this will be a piece of cake." I said.

The purple monkeys all get into a fighting stance. It was kinda cute. They all start coming after me. I start tossing the purple monkeys all over the place and more ended up in the river. Some of them got me good but I wasn't backing down.
One of them grabbed my MP3 player and was about to toss it in the river. "Oh hell no!" I yelled. I was not about to let them to toss my MP3 in the river. As he held it in his paws, he was looking through my songs, laughing, and making fun of New Kids and Darren. How the hell does this monkey know New Kids and Darren? Weird. That's it, nobody picks on NKOTB and Darren.

Now I'm pissed. I grabbed that purple monkey bastard, grabbed my MP3 and said "I think that belongs to me. You don't ever talk like that about people I care about. EVER!"

"And just what do you plan on doing about it?" asked the purple monkey.

"This is what I am going to do." Then I kicked him like a football and into the river he went.

The other purple monkeys were starting to really come at me now. Then out of nowhere the purple monkeys started to fall to the ground in pain. Then like out of nowhere, pink ninja monkeys came out. What the fuck! First purple monkeys, then blue and now pink? How come I never knew about them before? Can't complain to much since they are helping me out. I wonder what other color monkeys are out there.
Man these pink ninja monkeys are good. About a min. later the blue monkeys showed up. Haha, now the purple monkeys are in deep trouble. I had to do a little fighting myself this time but that's ok. This time these purple monkeys are going down. I don't want to deal with these purple bastards anymore.
After a good, oh I say 10 min or so, there were purple monkeys all over the ground. They got beaten again but this time they actually put up a good fight. A few of the blue and pink monkeys got injured but not bad.

When everyone was able to catch their breath, I thanked them again for their help.
"So I am assuming that the purple monkeys are mad as hell and are trying to get back at you guys? I asked the blue and pink monkeys.

"Yes. They seriously hate us especially after last time." said a blue monkey.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked a blue monkey "Just how many colored monkeys are there?"

The blue monkey said "There are also green and yellow ones. The yellow monkeys run the jails and the green ones spy on the purple ones so we know what they are up to."

Wow. I was shocked at what I was hearing. "Where did you all come from? I mean all my life I have never heard or seen you guys until two months ago."
"Well, said a pink monkey "we come from another planet called Pudge. The purple monkeys have been wreaking havoc on our planet and we have been trying to stop them. They got a hold of a transporter and accidentally transported to your planet when they were messing around with it. We followed them here to capture them and take them back to our planet so we can lock them up."

"Do you know how they got hold of this transporter?" I asked.

"Nope. We are still working on that. We think there is a trader in one of our groups that leaked the info to them." said a blue monkey.

"Unless there are a couple monkeys hiding really good, we have rounded up all the purple monkeys that came here to Earth and they are now locked up back on our planet. You shouldn't have any more problems with them. There are going to be a few of us staying here to make sure the purple monkeys are gone. We also have the transporter locked safe and sound so no more purple monkeys can come here to earth." said a pink monkey.

We all said our thank yous and goodbyes, then they took off back to their own planet. Wow, who would of thought, a planet that is ran by colored talking monkeys. Kinda cool I guess. Do they worship some kind of monkey God? If a blue and yellow monkey have sex, will their kid come out green (or if any other two different colored monkeys have sex, what color would the baby be)? I know, I have a twisted mind.

I was so worn out by the fight I had with the monkeys that I decided to just turn around and head back home. I am so hoping there are no more purple monkeys around. I don't ever want to see another one again. Even though they are all captured and taken back home, I would still be on the look out for those purple bastards. This time instead of saying no bad monkey, just go ape shit on their ass and kill them. Just make sure they are the purple ones because the others are nice.

Part one: Click Here