Tuesday, June 11, 2019
A Nightmare In One Week Chapter 2
In the first three days and nights she was there, she finished one of her books and did some knitting while watching her movies. She was going through everything faster than she thought she would. By the fourth day, she was starting to get bored.
She stepped out into the backyard and stared at the woods. She knew she was warned about them but she still didn't understand why. The woods can be dangerous with lions, tigers and bears oh my. She chuckled at her own little joke. On a more serious note, the dangers that the woods can bring wasn't enough for the guy to be so stern about them and for her to just ignore them.
Darlene figured what the hell. She had her pepper spray that she could take with her. She also grabbed some paper, a marker and some stick pins that she could take so she could mark her way through the trail. The last thing she needed was to get lost.
The trail was pretty easy to find. As she made her way through, every few feet she pined a paper with a number on it to a soft spot in a tree. She started from 1 counting up at each stop so all she had to do was count backwards on her way back.
She finally reached the creek. It was gorgeous and peaceful. There were small cascades over rocks and some bigger rocks that she sat on. She took some photos from her phone and just took everything in. She then heard some branches crack behind her. She whipped around but nothing was there. Probably just an animal but she didn't want to stick around to see what it could be so she got up and continued down the trail.
About five minutes later, she finally reached the lake. It was smaller then she expected but it was still a sight to see. She could see all the way around the lake and the trees surrounding it. Some areas of the lake had huge boulders to sit or lay on. Some where placed where you could walk out onto the lake.
She went to one of the boulders, stripped to her under clothes and dove off the giant rock. The water felt so refreshing. She started to get tired so she got back onto the giant rock and laid there. When she started to doze off, she knew it was time to head back.
The walk back didn't feel so relaxing. Darlene couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. It really started to make her feel nervous. When she reached the creek, she heard someone or something following her. She picked up the pace and kept looking around to see if she saw anything. At first she didn't but then she did see something. She stopped for a moment but it was gone almost as fast as she saw it. Did she really see a big black thing watching her? It had to be her imagination. I mean Hedley being creepy about it could be making her paranoid. She then started to jog back to the house tearing down each number as she came across it.
When she got to the house and inside, she locked the door behind her. After catching her breath, she took a long hot shower. After dinner, she checked her facebook page and found some stuff on Netflix to watch hoping that it would help her get her mind off the creepy walk back. Little did she know that her nights would no longer be peaceful.
Chapter 1: Click Here
A Nightmare In One Week Chapter 1
Darlene was in college studying to be a nurse. During her time in school, she worked in the schools's office for money. Now that it was summer break, she needed some money so she didn't have to live at home. Not there was anything bad living at home, she just wanted to do her best to make it on her own. She would rather try and find a good paying odd jobs because she hated to start and end a decent job within a few months.
One day she went to the lake to try and clear her mind and see if she could come up with some ideas. A gentleman in his early fifties sat down next to her. He introduced himself as Hedley and they started talking. During the conversation, she mentioned she was looking for odd jobs that pay well.
"This may be a little weird but I need someone to house sit for me for about a week. I've tried asking my friends but they already have plans. The job is yours if you want it. I will make sure you have all the food you need. All you have to do is clean and check the mail every day. I will pay you $500."
Darlene thought it was odd that he would ask her since they just met but hell why not? She needed the money and he needed someone to house sit. It did make her a little nervous but she had pepper spray and she knew self defense.
"Okay, I will take it."
"Great. Here is the address and my number. Be there by Sunday. I will be back the following weekend. If there is any kind of food that you want or don't like etc., just let me know and I'll get it. Just let me know as soon as you can. Oh and if something comes up and you can't house sit for me, please let me know by Wednesday so I can try to find someone else. I have only one rule, no parties."
"Will do and no worries about the party thing, I'm not much of a party person."
They talked for a little longer about her staying there and she went ahead and told him the foods she liked. She was looking forward to this little getaway. She needed it after a long and hard semester.
There was now only a few days left before she had to leave for her house sitting job. When she told her roommate and her family what she was doing, her family wasn't happy and tried to talk her out of it. She re-assured them and gave them all the information including the guy's name and number.
Darlene started packing and trying to figure out what she wanted to take to keep her busy while she was there. She decided to grab a couple of books, her laptop, some movies and some knitting stuff. Knitting is what she loved to do on her down time especially if it was something for other people.
The day for her to leave finally arrived. She had to get up early so she could be there by 10:00 am. She thought the house was between a medium size and a big size. The nearest neighbor was five to six blocks away. The plot of land that the house sat on was huge. The front yard was big and had a gravel drive way that led up to the house.
The house was tan with a brown trim and had two stories. It had a covered porch with a porch swing. That would be a perfect place to read and knit she thought. While taking everything in, she knocked on the door.
Hedley answered pretty quickly. For some reason, he seemed kinda out of it and was nervous. Darlene figured it was because they barley knew each other so everything was kinda weird.
"Hi Darlene, come in. Did you find the place okay?"
"Yeah. Luckily google maps was pretty accurate."
"Yeah. Sometimes that thing gets weird. Here let me take your bags and show you around."
"Thanks."
Inside was pretty big but a closed concept so it looked kinda small at the same time. It was also gloomy and dark. It looked like it was built n the 60's or 70's. There were updates but it mixed with the old. Upstairs were two bedrooms and a small bathroom.
"Here is the spare room where you can stay. It isn't much but it's comfortable."
"That's okay. I don't need much anyways. Thank you."
At the end of the hall was another set of small stairs that led to a closed door.
"There is the attic. It's locked and no one is allowed in. I have the key on me at all times." Hedley said in a creepy warning tone.
The last thing he showed her was the backyard. It was pretty big. It didn't have much going on though which was a shame. There was enough room for a nice sitting area with a nice BBQ grill, a pool, hot tub and more. He just had a few outdoor chairs with a table. There were some woods surrounding he back.
"Just through the woods and off to the right is a trail that leads to a creek and a lake. I must warn you, stay away from those woods even to go to the lake. There are things in there....just don't go in there, understood?"
"Um, yeah sure. Stay out of the woods."
This kinda crept her out but mostly how he was acting and talking. What was the big deal about the woods she thought. They finished up the tour and he went on his way.
Chapter 2: Click Here
Chapter 3: Click Here
Chapter 4: Click Here
Monday, May 6, 2019
The Psychopath Bathroom Killer
A girl named Angela had a slumber party with five other girls. Her parents went out for a couple of hours so the girls decided to go hang out at a nearby park. It was closed for the night but they were still able to get in. When they got there, they ran around on the grass and played on the playground. Then the 16 year olds decided to gather by the slide and tell ghost stories and supposedly urban legends.
Angela's good friend Farrah decided to tell an urban legend instead of a ghost story.
"Guys, I have something that will scare you. Scott told it to me last week and freaked me out. He said it was a true story."
"True my ass," Angela said. "That boyfriend of yours would say anything to freak you out."
"Yes but it still scared me so I would like to share it with you guys."
"Go ahead and scare us." said Angela.
"A long time ago, there was this girl named Jade. Everyone teased her because she was so weird. She would talk and sing to herself, say really creepy things and out of nowhere, she would become violent.
One day when Jade was about 18 years old, she went to a park dressed in what looked like an over-sized little girl's furly dress, pigtails, furly socks and black shinny shoes. She was talking and singing in a little girls voice.
This group of teenagers sat around laughing at her. Then they went up to her and started teasing her and calling her names. A couple of them dragged her to the nearest porta potty, shoved her in there and tortured her.
They held her face in the toilet, forced her to sit on it while they continued to abuse her. One boy even peed on her. Then they locked her inside by holding the door shut.
Jade kept screaming and banging, trying to get out. A couple of other teens went around the sides and started banging on the walls and making scratching noises. After about a half and hour of torture, they opened the door and asked if she's had enough or if she wanted more.
Jade managed to push her way out and stood there screaming at them. The teens just pointed and laughed at her then started throwing toilet paper at her.
Jade finally lost it and viciously attacked one of the teens. The others tried to help but she was so crazy that no one could get close to her. One of the teens called the cops.
The cops came and arrested Jade. As they did this, she was laughing and yelling how she was going to go after them and pay for what they did. The teens acted like they didn't know what she was talking about and told them some lie how she just started acting crazy then attacked them. The one teen that was assaulted by Jade went into the hospital with scratches, bruises and broken nose and ribs. Jade ended up in a mental hospital and diagnosed as some kind of psychotic psychopath.
About a year later when the hospital was closing down, she some how escaped. They say that now she goes around stalking people in bathrooms while singing her song and killing people to try get back at what happened to her. They say that she even cut a wide smile into her own face because she enjoys killing people so much."
"If Jade was so crazy, why didn't her parents put her in the hospital before?" asked a girl named Cynthia.
"Apparently her parents were just as crazy and abused her horribly. They just went unnoticed since most of the time they kept to themselves."
"You know, I think I heard about this on the news. They found a couple butchered in some bathroom a few weeks ago." said Holly.
They all just looked at her like "yeah right".
"Well it's true. My parents were watching the news and right when I walked in the room is when they started talking about it." Holly added.
"Well okay then. There is no way that is true. I am going to head to the bathroom now" Angela said.
"Why can't you wait till' we get back to your house?" asked Farrah
"Because I need to go now. I'll be fine. It's just a story made up to scare people."
Angela walked over to the porta potty that was kinda hidden from her friends. There was only one light above it but it was dim. She was more afraid of what she would find in the nasty toilet than some girl named Jade coming after her.
When she opened he door, she used the light on her phone to see inside. Thank God it looked clean. As she was sitting there using it, she thought she heard someone walking around. She figured it was her mind playing tricks on her.
When she was done using it, she sat there for a minute when she now heard scrapping along the outside walls of the potty. Then there was laughter and singing.
"Lalala lala la....."
"Guys, that's not funny. You're not scaring me so you can just stop it."
The laughing continued and now the porta potty started shaking.
"Hey, knock it off! Very funny; haha!"
When she tried to open the door, it wouldn't open. Something or someone was blocking it.
"This is going too far! Now let me out!"
Angela banged and wiggled the door but nothing happened. She didn't like what her friends were doing to her. The girl on the other side started mocking her.
Angela started crying and continued to try and get out. Just then the door flies open. Angela was shocked what stood in front of her. There she was, a girl in pigtails, a furly dress and socks, shinny shoes and her face.....her face was the creepiest. It was all dirty and smile was cut into her face just like in Farrah's story. The girl had this crazy scary look.
"Your turn bitch" Jade said.
Jade pushed her way into the potty and locked the door behind her. She began to cut into Angela while she laughed and sang her song.
Back at the playground:
"I wonder if Angela is okay" said Brandy.
"I'm sure she is. She is probably hiding somewhere ready to scare us." Farrah said.
Just then they heard a muffled scream.
Very funny Angela! You can just come out now!" shouted Farrah.
"I don't feel right. I think we should go check on her" said Brandy.
"Please. We don't need to give in to her joke." Farrah said
"No really. Even if she is joking, we should make sure. There are crazy people out there." stated Brandy.
"I agree." said Janet.
"Fine. We will go and give in to her stupid joke." Farrah said.
They went to check on their friend. When they got to the porta potty, there they saw, Angela sprawled out with a smile cut into her face and dead. Written in blood on the walls were: "you're all next!"
They all screamed and called the cops. After that, their lives were never the same. They never knew if and when Jade was going to come for them. A few nights after the horrific night, Farrah thought she saw a figure outside her bedroom window staring at her. She knew then that Jade was stalking her, waiting, waiting to find the right time to get her too.
Thursday, April 18, 2019
The Music Man
There was an old man who loved is harmonica. When he played, it took him to another world where everything was peaceful and good. It brought him joy.
He would sit on his front porch and just play for several hours. His neighbors enjoyed it and would hang out at his house to listen. Kids would dance and some brought him cookies and some drinks. He loved making people smile and so he wanted to do more.
He first went into the city along an outdoor mall. He stood there along the stores, playing his harmonica, going into his own world bringing joy to others. He never asked for money but some people gave it to him anyways. He took the money and gave some of it to kids and some of it to charities.
He loved being on the street but again he wanted to do more. He started to walking through the parks while playing his harmonica. People passing and people that he would pass, would smile and pause to listen as he brought more joy to people.
The man would play his harmonica for people four times a week, taking turns on where he played it. People started to know who he was and couldn't wait to hear him play. They came up with a name for him, 'The Music Man'. The man who brings joy to people all around with his music.
He would sit on his front porch and just play for several hours. His neighbors enjoyed it and would hang out at his house to listen. Kids would dance and some brought him cookies and some drinks. He loved making people smile and so he wanted to do more.
He first went into the city along an outdoor mall. He stood there along the stores, playing his harmonica, going into his own world bringing joy to others. He never asked for money but some people gave it to him anyways. He took the money and gave some of it to kids and some of it to charities.
He loved being on the street but again he wanted to do more. He started to walking through the parks while playing his harmonica. People passing and people that he would pass, would smile and pause to listen as he brought more joy to people.
The man would play his harmonica for people four times a week, taking turns on where he played it. People started to know who he was and couldn't wait to hear him play. They came up with a name for him, 'The Music Man'. The man who brings joy to people all around with his music.
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
The Monkey Trader part 2
Before Charlie started talking, he wanted to make sure that he would be protected. The pink monkeys told him that he has nothing to worry about and will be completely protected from the others.
Charlie told the pink monkeys that Bruno, a green monkey, was really upset at something and was pacing back and forth. Charlie and some other purple monkeys were wondering what was wrong with Bruno. The purple monkeys went up to Bruno and asked him what was wrong.
Charlie told the pink monkeys that Bruno, a green monkey, was really upset at something and was pacing back and forth. Charlie and some other purple monkeys were wondering what was wrong with Bruno. The purple monkeys went up to Bruno and asked him what was wrong.
Bruno at first was rude and refused to say anything since this group of purple monkeys liked to cause trouble. After some thought, Bruno decided he was going to tell the monkeys and make them a part of his plan to get back at the other monkeys. Bruno tells the purple monkeys to meet him at a cabin in the woods by 8pm and to bring more purple monkeys but ONLY purple monkeys.
At 8pm the purple monkeys gathered at the cabin wondering what was up. A few mins after 8pm, Bruno showed and gathered everyone up. He began to tell them how he thought the other monkeys were stupid and a little to controlling. There was a transporter that the monkeys wanted to keep under wraps. Bruno wanted to release it to the public and have it be used for traveling to other places quicker. The monkeys thought it would be to dangerous and it could fall into the wrong hands.
Bruno for days tried to get them to change their minds but it wouldn't work. Bruno was so pissed and wanted to show them that they were being stupid and asked for the purple monkeys for help. That is when a week later after the meeting, Bruno presented the purple monkeys with the transporter. He showed them how it worked and told them to experiment with it and have fun but be careful to not get caught.
That is when a group of the purple monkeys (the worst out of the bunch) were playing with it and accidentally discovered earth. They decided to check it out and have fun with it. Charlie stated that he didn't want to cause problems with earth people but wanted to check things out. That is when he got caught up in all the mess. The pink monkeys had Charlie write his statement, said thank you and told him they will make sure he gets a lighter sentence for his honesty and for not being on of them that caused a lot of trouble.
The pink monkeys made sure Charlie was put in a safer cell. The pink monkeys told the blue monkeys what happened. The top pink monkey Charlotte and the top blue monkey Rick went to Bruno's house to arrest him. Bruno was acting like he didn't know what was going on.
They took Bruno into an interrogation room and started questioning him. At first Bruno would deny everything. After hours of questions and arguing, Bruno finally cracked and confessed.
They cuffed Bruno and took him to his cell. As they were walking Bruno to his cell, he was getting his last words in: "You guys are so lame! You can not hold me responsible for the chaos the purple monkeys caused! My charges will never stick! I will be out and show everyone just how stupid and controlling you all are!" The yellow monkeys just ignored him and locked him up.
The trial came for the purple monkeys that were involved in the chaos on earth. Since Charlie confessed and gave them Bruno, he only got two months. The other monkeys were charged with: solicitation of a criminal act, felony assault with a deadly weapon (when they were throwing rocks at me the first time), conspiracy to commit a felony (both times), engaging in a riot, witness intimidation (river - me), felony murder (when I had to through the monkeys in the river and they drowned) and they got life in prison. Bruno was charged with theft of government property, facilitated of a criminal act and sentenced to life in prison and a psych evaluation.
It looks like now things are under control and back to "normal" on planet Pudge. After a little more than a month goes by, the monkeys of planet Pudge see something in the sky.It was a bright fast moving light "crashing" on their planet. Charlotte and Rick go over to check it out and find a red monkey. Charlotte and Rick both look at each other as in to say "what the hell?"
Part 1 Click Here
*NOTE Unfortunately I got really stuck making the next story and never finished it. Hopefully someday soon I can get back to it and get it written out.
The Monkey Trader Part 1
All is well on earth (for the most part any ways) since the evil purple monkeys have been captured and returned to their planet Pudge. The blue and pink monkeys now have to work hard to find out who the trader is. The green monkeys are trying to keep things in order while the yellow ones are trying to keep the monkey jail under control.
The blue and pink monkeys have been keeping their ears to the ground and have found out that the trader one is one of the green monkeys. Now all they have to do is find out which green monkey and throw him in jail.
A few pink monkeys went around asking the green monkeys intense questions seeing if anybody knew or heard anything about who the trader might be, of course nobody knew a thing. Next they went into the monkey jail to ask the purple monkeys intense questions.
They were not having any luck until they reached the last cell. Once again the monkeys were not talking. There was one purple monkey that was skittish like he wanted to talk but was afraid to. The two pink monkeys that were asking the questions noticed this and made a note of it. Once the two pink monkeys walked away, the purple monkeys noticed he was skittish. They corned Charlie the skittish monkey.
"Um, what's wrong guys?" asked Charlie gulping.
"You act like you want to tell them who the trader is." said one of the purple monkeys.
"No, why would I do that?" asked Charlie.
"Well, you better not tell anyone. We need to stick together in this and protect one another." said another purple monkey.
From across the cell, a purple monkey ask what is going on. He is told that Charlie is acting like he wants to crack. The monkeys in the cell start to get paranoid about Charlie. The purple monkeys start to make a bunch ofintimidating noises to try and scare Charlie.
The purple monkeys started to cause a bunch of chaos. They were screaming (the monkey noises they make), crawling/hanging all over the bars, just going crazy. The purple monkeys that were in the same cell as Charlie were not do these things but they were cheering on the others that were.
The few cells that were around Charlie started to really get out of control. They flooded the cells, tore apart the bedding, throwing poo, started small fires, breaking things and throwing blankets and toilet paper.
All of this was scaring Charlie but not to the point where he wouldn't turn in the trader if he chose to. The other purple monkeys in the other cells (not surrounding Charlie) were also getting scared of the ones that were causing the chaos.
A bunch of yellow monkeys came running in the day hall in riot gear (hehe cute). The yellow monkeys started to get control of the crazy cells by spraying pepper spray. One of the purple monkeys started yelling in pain. The yellow monkeys took the bad monkeys and moved them into another cell until things calmed down and the cells were cleaned up.
A few hours went by and the yellow monkeys finally had things under control. When they found out why the purple monkeys were acting up, they took Charlie out for his own safety. Now that Charlie was alone, he wasn't scared to speak out about what he knew.
He told one of the guards he was ready to talk. The guard got a hold of the pink monkeys to tell them and in about an hour, a couple of the pink monkeys came by to talk to charlie. They took him to a private room where everyone could be more comfortable.
End of part 1
Part 2 Click Here
Thursday, November 8, 2018
Evil Purple Monkeys #2
It has been another one of those crazy days. It has been two months since I was attacked by the evil purple monkeys. It has taken me awhile to be able to go outside and not be afraid of being attacked by the monkeys. Once I've thought about it, I realized that now I am aware of the purple monkey gang, I can handle them a lot better and attack them before they attack me.
I have been wanting to check out this one trail that runs next to a river and since it was a gorgeous day out, I decided to go. I was so enjoying my nice walk listening to my favorite music (we are smug, Darren, NKOTB, Janet etc) when I thought I saw something purple poking out from behind the trees and bushes.
Oh shit, did I just see a purple monkey or am I just seeing things? I so hope I am seeing things because I really don't want to be attacked again. This time I am prepared.
After a few more steps, an evil purple monkey popped out. I was ready for him this time. He was pissed about what happened last time, blamed me and was ready to take revenge. I just stood there and looked at him like he was stupid. I then picked up the little shit head.
He then started to yell: "hey, what the hell are you doing? You can't do this to me! Put me down!"
I looked at him and said: "Look you little shit, last time you threw rocks at me and bit me. This time you just pissed me off by interrupting my walk. I am not scared of you any more and I'm ready to fight back. Can you swim?"
"What?" said the purple monkey.
Then I said, "This is for the last time and trying to come at me again" and tossed him in the river. The little bastard drowned. Mean I know but I was defending myself. Wouldn't you do the same? I do feel kind of bad that I had to do that though. I have to say that seeing him fly through the air doing a monkey scream was kinda funny. Sick I know.
I think now I regret doing that. A few min. later, a bunch of the little purple bastards came out of nowhere. Crap. First I had one purple monkey pissed at me, now I have a bunch of them pissed at me.
"Who the hell do you think you are throwing our buddy into the river?" said one purple monkey.
"Well let's see, I started, "he came at me and was threatening me so I did what I had to do to protect myself. Sorry."
"It's pay back time. We are better than ever and this time we will win." said another.
"Well considering you all sucked last time, I'm sure this will be a piece of cake." I said.
The purple monkeys all get into a fighting stance. It was kinda cute. They all start coming after me. I start tossing the purple monkeys all over the place and more ended up in the river. Some of them got me good but I wasn't backing down.
One of them grabbed my MP3 player and was about to toss it in the river. "Oh hell no!" I yelled. I was not about to let them to toss my MP3 in the river. As he held it in his paws, he was looking through my songs, laughing, and making fun of New Kids and Darren. How the hell does this monkey know New Kids and Darren? Weird. That's it, nobody picks on NKOTB and Darren.
Now I'm pissed. I grabbed that purple monkey bastard, grabbed my MP3 and said "I think that belongs to me. You don't ever talk like that about people I care about. EVER!"
"And just what do you plan on doing about it?" asked the purple monkey.
"This is what I am going to do." Then I kicked him like a football and into the river he went.
The other purple monkeys were starting to really come at me now. Then out of nowhere the purple monkeys started to fall to the ground in pain. Then like out of nowhere, pink ninja monkeys came out. What the fuck! First purple monkeys, then blue and now pink? How come I never knew about them before? Can't complain to much since they are helping me out. I wonder what other color monkeys are out there.
Man these pink ninja monkeys are good. About a min. later the blue monkeys showed up. Haha, now the purple monkeys are in deep trouble. I had to do a little fighting myself this time but that's ok. This time these purple monkeys are going down. I don't want to deal with these purple bastards anymore.
After a good, oh I say 10 min or so, there were purple monkeys all over the ground. They got beaten again but this time they actually put up a good fight. A few of the blue and pink monkeys got injured but not bad.
When everyone was able to catch their breath, I thanked them again for their help.
"So I am assuming that the purple monkeys are mad as hell and are trying to get back at you guys? I asked the blue and pink monkeys.
"Yes. They seriously hate us especially after last time." said a blue monkey.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked a blue monkey "Just how many colored monkeys are there?"
The blue monkey said "There are also green and yellow ones. The yellow monkeys run the jails and the green ones spy on the purple ones so we know what they are up to."
Wow. I was shocked at what I was hearing. "Where did you all come from? I mean all my life I have never heard or seen you guys until two months ago."
"Well, said a pink monkey "we come from another planet called Pudge. The purple monkeys have been wreaking havoc on our planet and we have been trying to stop them. They got a hold of a transporter and accidentally transported to your planet when they were messing around with it. We followed them here to capture them and take them back to our planet so we can lock them up."
"Do you know how they got hold of this transporter?" I asked.
"Nope. We are still working on that. We think there is a trader in one of our groups that leaked the info to them." said a blue monkey.
"Unless there are a couple monkeys hiding really good, we have rounded up all the purple monkeys that came here to Earth and they are now locked up back on our planet. You shouldn't have any more problems with them. There are going to be a few of us staying here to make sure the purple monkeys are gone. We also have the transporter locked safe and sound so no more purple monkeys can come here to earth." said a pink monkey.
We all said our thank yous and goodbyes, then they took off back to their own planet. Wow, who would of thought, a planet that is ran by colored talking monkeys. Kinda cool I guess. Do they worship some kind of monkey God? If a blue and yellow monkey have sex, will their kid come out green (or if any other two different colored monkeys have sex, what color would the baby be)? I know, I have a twisted mind.
I was so worn out by the fight I had with the monkeys that I decided to just turn around and head back home. I am so hoping there are no more purple monkeys around. I don't ever want to see another one again. Even though they are all captured and taken back home, I would still be on the look out for those purple bastards. This time instead of saying no bad monkey, just go ape shit on their ass and kill them. Just make sure they are the purple ones because the others are nice.
Part one: Click Here
I have been wanting to check out this one trail that runs next to a river and since it was a gorgeous day out, I decided to go. I was so enjoying my nice walk listening to my favorite music (we are smug, Darren, NKOTB, Janet etc) when I thought I saw something purple poking out from behind the trees and bushes.
Oh shit, did I just see a purple monkey or am I just seeing things? I so hope I am seeing things because I really don't want to be attacked again. This time I am prepared.
After a few more steps, an evil purple monkey popped out. I was ready for him this time. He was pissed about what happened last time, blamed me and was ready to take revenge. I just stood there and looked at him like he was stupid. I then picked up the little shit head.
He then started to yell: "hey, what the hell are you doing? You can't do this to me! Put me down!"
I looked at him and said: "Look you little shit, last time you threw rocks at me and bit me. This time you just pissed me off by interrupting my walk. I am not scared of you any more and I'm ready to fight back. Can you swim?"
"What?" said the purple monkey.
Then I said, "This is for the last time and trying to come at me again" and tossed him in the river. The little bastard drowned. Mean I know but I was defending myself. Wouldn't you do the same? I do feel kind of bad that I had to do that though. I have to say that seeing him fly through the air doing a monkey scream was kinda funny. Sick I know.
I think now I regret doing that. A few min. later, a bunch of the little purple bastards came out of nowhere. Crap. First I had one purple monkey pissed at me, now I have a bunch of them pissed at me.
"Who the hell do you think you are throwing our buddy into the river?" said one purple monkey.
"Well let's see, I started, "he came at me and was threatening me so I did what I had to do to protect myself. Sorry."
"It's pay back time. We are better than ever and this time we will win." said another.
"Well considering you all sucked last time, I'm sure this will be a piece of cake." I said.
The purple monkeys all get into a fighting stance. It was kinda cute. They all start coming after me. I start tossing the purple monkeys all over the place and more ended up in the river. Some of them got me good but I wasn't backing down.
One of them grabbed my MP3 player and was about to toss it in the river. "Oh hell no!" I yelled. I was not about to let them to toss my MP3 in the river. As he held it in his paws, he was looking through my songs, laughing, and making fun of New Kids and Darren. How the hell does this monkey know New Kids and Darren? Weird. That's it, nobody picks on NKOTB and Darren.
Now I'm pissed. I grabbed that purple monkey bastard, grabbed my MP3 and said "I think that belongs to me. You don't ever talk like that about people I care about. EVER!"
"And just what do you plan on doing about it?" asked the purple monkey.
"This is what I am going to do." Then I kicked him like a football and into the river he went.
The other purple monkeys were starting to really come at me now. Then out of nowhere the purple monkeys started to fall to the ground in pain. Then like out of nowhere, pink ninja monkeys came out. What the fuck! First purple monkeys, then blue and now pink? How come I never knew about them before? Can't complain to much since they are helping me out. I wonder what other color monkeys are out there.
Man these pink ninja monkeys are good. About a min. later the blue monkeys showed up. Haha, now the purple monkeys are in deep trouble. I had to do a little fighting myself this time but that's ok. This time these purple monkeys are going down. I don't want to deal with these purple bastards anymore.
After a good, oh I say 10 min or so, there were purple monkeys all over the ground. They got beaten again but this time they actually put up a good fight. A few of the blue and pink monkeys got injured but not bad.
When everyone was able to catch their breath, I thanked them again for their help.
"So I am assuming that the purple monkeys are mad as hell and are trying to get back at you guys? I asked the blue and pink monkeys.
"Yes. They seriously hate us especially after last time." said a blue monkey.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked a blue monkey "Just how many colored monkeys are there?"
The blue monkey said "There are also green and yellow ones. The yellow monkeys run the jails and the green ones spy on the purple ones so we know what they are up to."
Wow. I was shocked at what I was hearing. "Where did you all come from? I mean all my life I have never heard or seen you guys until two months ago."
"Well, said a pink monkey "we come from another planet called Pudge. The purple monkeys have been wreaking havoc on our planet and we have been trying to stop them. They got a hold of a transporter and accidentally transported to your planet when they were messing around with it. We followed them here to capture them and take them back to our planet so we can lock them up."
"Do you know how they got hold of this transporter?" I asked.
"Nope. We are still working on that. We think there is a trader in one of our groups that leaked the info to them." said a blue monkey.
"Unless there are a couple monkeys hiding really good, we have rounded up all the purple monkeys that came here to Earth and they are now locked up back on our planet. You shouldn't have any more problems with them. There are going to be a few of us staying here to make sure the purple monkeys are gone. We also have the transporter locked safe and sound so no more purple monkeys can come here to earth." said a pink monkey.
We all said our thank yous and goodbyes, then they took off back to their own planet. Wow, who would of thought, a planet that is ran by colored talking monkeys. Kinda cool I guess. Do they worship some kind of monkey God? If a blue and yellow monkey have sex, will their kid come out green (or if any other two different colored monkeys have sex, what color would the baby be)? I know, I have a twisted mind.
I was so worn out by the fight I had with the monkeys that I decided to just turn around and head back home. I am so hoping there are no more purple monkeys around. I don't ever want to see another one again. Even though they are all captured and taken back home, I would still be on the look out for those purple bastards. This time instead of saying no bad monkey, just go ape shit on their ass and kill them. Just make sure they are the purple ones because the others are nice.
Part one: Click Here
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